Blog Story #10

Alright, here is the most recent blog story. Enjoy!

My name is Franchette and I'm a eighty-year-old woman. I used to love shopping in supermarkets but now, I dread it. I earned my dislike of supermarkets on a cold, drizzly day in September. If I remember correctly . . . 
          I shuffled up to the supermarket doors in the steady drizzle of rain. I nervously patted my hair to make sure that I was looking nice before I entered the supermarket. Once I was inside, I scanned the categories hanging over the aisles. I needed something for my dinner that night. As I looked at the categories, I decided to have something seafood. Patting my hair, I meandered over to the seafood section. Fish tanks, lobster pools, and crayfish bowls lined the rows. I was heading towards the fish when I was blocked by a store attendant shelving some flour, bread, and other grain products. I waited impatiently in the aisle as the young man struggled to heave big bags of flour onto the top shelves. He saw me standing there.
          "Hello ma'am. How may I help you? Nice weather we've been having, huh?
          I had merely opened my mouth to answer his first question when I was bombarded with the second. That left me staring at him with my mouth open. Suddenly my top dentures popped loose with a embarrassing "Squelch" and clattered onto the store floor. My face flushed red as I leaned down to pick them up. But my back suddenly popped, halfway to the floor. My eyes nearly popped out with the pain. I straightened up and breathed a great big breath of fresh air. The young man noticed my predicament and came down off of his ladder. He grabbed a pair of tongs from out of a nearby lobster tank. I tried to say "No, no! Not those!" But without my top teeth it merely sounded like I was gargling. He stooped down and grasped my teeth in his still dripping tongs and lifted it up. Then to my horror he brought them up next to his face and began peering at them very closely.
          "I'm trying to find the expiration date. I think that the expiration date on these is long past."
          I "gargled" furiously. Enraged and impatient, I snatched the teeth from his dripping tongs, inserted them with a "Pop", and glared at the young man. But he didn't seem to notice, he just stuck the tongs back in the lobster tank and climbed back up the ladder. Now I was still mad at what he had said about my teeth. In a rage, I swung my purse at him, just as he was swinging a large bag of flour up onto the shelf. The purse knocked the bag out of his hands, splitting it open and sending flour flying through the air. It landed all over me, blinding me. I stumbled backwards, groping for something to steady myself with. The next thing I knew, I was floating in a lobster pool. I flailed and kicked, splashing water everywhere and sending quite a few lobsters sailing out of the pool. My hair was no officially overrun with lobsters. I finally managed to stand up and climb out of the pool. Lobsters were still hanging off me. I ended up buying a bunch of lobsters and what was left of the flour. Since I needed dinner, I had hairy lobster bread for dinner. It sorta clawed at my stomach. 

Alright. I hope that you guys enjoyed that. I definitely enjoyed writing it. =P