Blondes

So since I haven't posted in a while I'll provide you guys with some rather funny blonde jokes. I hope that you enjoy.

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head!One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.

     A blonde goes into a Best Buy. She asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
     The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing and again the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
     Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How do you know I am a blonde?"
     The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV - it's a microwave."

    A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.
     Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
     Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
     The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"
     The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1.00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."
     "Comfortable?" the guy questions.
     "Yes, you see she reads slow."

Q. What is the fastest way to get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A. Wave at her.

     A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
      The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
      A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
      "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
     A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
      This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immediately got up and went to her seat in coach.
      The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."

 A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde had just robbed a bank and they were trying to escape from the cops. They ran down an alley and saw three huge potato sacks. They hopped inside just in time, and the cops didn't see them. Puzzled, the cops looked at the bags suspiciously. One cop kicked the brunette's bag, she meowed, and the cop thought nothing of it. He then kicked the redhead's bag, she made a clanking noise with her shoes, and the cop thought it was just some garbage. Then he moved on to the blonde's bag. He kicked it and she said "Potatoes!"

Q. Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
A. To remind her that "toes go in first."   A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the brunette yells "TORNADO!" All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.
     Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the redhead yells "HURRICANE!" Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.
     Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says, "READY, AIM" and the blonde yells "FIRE!" and gets shot.

Q.Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?
A. She kept throwing out all the W's. 

Those are pretty much some of the best blonde jokes that I've heard. I hope that they have brought either a smile, a chortle, or a guffaw.

What is your favorite blonde joke?